On a Scale of 1 to 10, it was a 49.

ZXZW Festival, Tilburg, September 23-24

Warning: extremely long review follows.

Apparently Brabant is the Dutch Texas, making Tilburg Austin: the Zuid Bij Zuidwest festival is a hardly-subtle name-clone of the better known South by Southwest (SXSW). And while there might be fewer cowboy hats, gun racks on pickup trucks, and obese people in Tilburg, the principle is the same: a festival spanning the majority of the local venues, with a wide lineup and a flat admission fee. Tilburg is convenient for this kind of thing, as there are an awful lot of venues clustered in the middle of town. Of course, the scale of ZXZW pales in comparison to its American counterpart, and lacks the label showcases and big-name indie royalty that characterize SXSW, but it was still a fairly impressive lineup – more so during the festival than when looking at it in a vacuum, really. I came into the fest knowing only a couple of bands, so it was a bit of a journey of discovery for me, but that only heightened the enjoyment.

We arrived on saturday night around 9, as the first full wave of bands began. We intended to go see Vuur, a Belgian noisepunk act, but by the time we got our tickets traded in for bracelets, their set had started and gone for about 15 minutes, and we were at 013 (the biggest venue for the festival, with three separate stages) while Vuur was playing at Little Devil, the most far-flung from our location. Plus, the music coming from 013's Kleine Zaal sounded promising, so we checked it out. It turned out to be Daturah, a German post-rock group. They basically sounded just like Mogwai, with similarly soaring ambient textures spiralling into crushing chaos at their apex. Their drummer was both good and incredibly loud, lending a slightly more intense sound to the percussive side and feeling more like Explosions in the Sky to me. Even though the guitarist had awful whitey-dreadlocks and they played some sort of unattractive video of Frankfurt in the background, they put on a good show. We missed the last bit, as we went off to the tiny “muziekcafe” (literally a bar with a stage in the back) Cul De Sac to see the silly-named Uw Hypotheekadvies (Your Mortgage Advice) play a set of their Dutch noise. The trio began with blasting Lighting Bolt-style noise whirlwinds with very little pause for mercy on the ears, and as the set went on, they gradually shifted to a groovier, jazzier, almost stonerish vibe via subtle alterations in their sound. This was a great show – they had a ton of character, energy and pure skill, managing to make their aural pummeling actually sound extremely musically proficient. I later decided they were one of the highlights of the night, but at the time there was no time to dwell, as wel were off to the Batcave at 013 to see Bronze. This bunch of Belgians played intricate indie instrumental, along the lines of a more restrained Hella with some Tortoise in their sound. We were only there for the tail end of their set, but what we saw was both impressive and compelling.

In the absence of anything particularly fantastic in the next timeslot, we went through the door to the adjacent Kleine Zaal to see Toner Low, as Tim has a certain nostalgic affection for stoner metal. And these locals played the part – they were basically a typical stoner metal band, complete with meanderingly heavy riffs, reverbed vocals, and a singer in an Iron Maiden shirt. It wasn't really my thing, but it seemed solid enough, and Tim intimated they sounded exactly like Kyuss. I guess that's a fairly good thing, since they're the founders of the genre. We shoved off a few minutes before they finished to head over to Little Devil for the band I was most excited for that night, Gravity Records founder Matt Anderson's current project, Space Horse. They served up some incredibly loud, wild 80's-style hardcore along the lines of a slightly less melodic Minor Threat, with the added touch of an audio sampler to grab bits of vocals and loop them in bizarre distorted fashion, used most amusingly on the drunk fools in the audience. These guys were ridiculous – three people basically tried to start a pit with no one else wanting to, pushing each other across the room and eventually pulling Matt into the crowd. At the time, it was kind of annoying to have people constantly being thrown onto you, but it was pretty amusing, really. The band's mocking approach to them made it rather enjoyable, and the same can be said of their set as a whole. They were easily the best band of the night.

Since the three of us all had work to do, we decided to skip Causa Sui, who sounded pretty good, and take the last train back. This turned out to be a bad idea. We grabbed the last train to 's Hertogenbosch, and had a pleasant enough ride accompanied by one of the co-owners of Little Devil, but when we got to den Bosch there were no trains to Utrecht left; the only remaining train went o Eindhoven. We considered various options, including going to Eindhoven and staying with someone who lived outside of town, but that would have required us paying for a taxi, and we were broke. A taxi back to Utrecht was dismissed for the same reason, as was getting a hotel room. Instead, we wandered den Bosch for a while, had some decent food at a snackbar, and headed back to the train station to stake out a good spot. We holed up by the parking garage to sleep until the first train to Utrecht left. It wasn't terribly comfortable, restful, or warm, but we survived without being disturbed or pickpocketed, and had an experience to remember. Though I won't be seeking out train stations to sleep in, it suited the underground spirit of the fest and wasn't all that bad, really.

I was the first to return the nest day, since I managed to get my work done. I missed a couple things I wanted to see earlier in the the (The Bend Moustache, Machinefabriek, Odal) but got there in time to see lots more. First up was a trip to the basement at V39 to see Kunt, who are best described as raunchy sampled-noise cabaret. Basically, it consisted of two Australian girls in pink dresses and weird body paint (with such things as “SATAN” and “Cop Killer” written on their arms) manipulating sound into combinations of dancy beats and blasting feedback, then performing a cabaret-like dance/song (well, more like wailing than singing...) routine on such subjects as cocaine, stepmothers, police (and specifically blowing up police), and more. Audience interaction was high here, with the girls alternating between taunts and come-ons, and at one point stepping into the crowd to wrap a microphone cord around someone's neck during their self-announced “love song”. The climax of the show came at the end: one of them pulled an audience member onto stage to help her put on something halfway between a saddle and a strap-on, with a pointy bit sticking out of the front. Shoving him back into the crowd, she proceeded to pull out a pair of goggles and a blunted circular saw, and ran around the stage sawing at the pointed front to the tune of the bizarre music, kicking up massive sparks. It was a sight to behold, that's for sure – this was one of the craziest sets of the day. The next show, at Kleine Zaal, was pretty weird and fantastic too: Brooklyn's Japanther, one of the only bands at the fest I'd ever heard of, blasted the crowd with their idiosyncratic no-wave insanity. The first thing that struck me when seeing them, actually, was the fact that instead of mics they used pastel telephone receivers plugged into they PA. After that was the fact that they used tons of samples from things like old movies, disco songs, and political speeches, fed through absurd effects and distortion, and added what was almost typical two-piece garage rock, except with a bizarre set of time signatures and effects. They were highly entertaining, and when the end came with the drummer standing on the snare, knocking over the floor tom and the sampling machine, it was too soon.

Next I headed over to The Choice, 013's big stage, for Volt. These Germans turned out to be decent but unexciting sludgy, slightly experimental metal. At this point, Tim called me to tell me he made it to Tilburg, so I left to meet him and Roel and have a quick bite to eat. Once we did, we returned to Kleine Zaal just in time for Officer Jones and His Patrol Car Problems. The police-jacket-attired band of Belgians dished out some highly technical, mathy hardcore that was augmented by recordings of sirens, clips of police raids and a guy saying “I don't like cops, and they don't like me”. At the very end of the set, they played a song that sounded a lot like Envy, and that song was incredible. Their whole set was quite strong. The next show at The Choice was even better: Creature With The Atom Brain, two thirds of whom are from Belgian heroes Millionaire, was impressively loud and even more impressively talented. Their music was fairly unusual: it combined noisy metal with jagged post-punk, with the noise being the linking point. They were very intense and yet very detailed at the same time, putting a surprisingly intricate structure under the crushing noise they were burying us in. This was one of the most interesting and yet most exciting shows of the fest. When it ended, we popped outside to see some of the ongoing spectacle that was Masonic Youth's windowshow. Basically, they'd set up a window display of weird objects, indluding a black version of the golden arches, a Star of David, and massive numbers of speakers, and set up drones playing weird, spooky ambient noise. Then came the Youth themselves, dressed in uniforms most resembling the Knights who say “Ni” but each with some random everyday object – one had rearview mirrors on his helmet, one had a plunger on a staff, and the best one had Mickey Mouse ears. They kind of stood around looking weird, occasionally doing things like throwing things against the window. It was... strange.

We went back in to Batcave with the intention of seeing V/VM, but he was apparently a noshow, so instead there was a bizarre interlude with a guy in an Elton John mask playing mangled remixes of Elton John songs on a laptop and miming singing. Then a guy in a chicken mask ran out, knocked Elton John into the audience, and followed him to engage in a rolling fistfight which ended with the chicken on the floor and Elton backstage. A guy came out to recite some odd text, but was stopped by Elton returning with a pig mask this time, who was joined by the recovered chicken. They handed out waffles to the crowd, and then just stood around drinking beer. That was it, so went through the Kleine Zaal door to see Orange Sunshine instead. Their MC5-meets-Sabbath stoner-garage rock was extremely fun and proficient, and they had great cohesion and energy. The drummer was particularly impressive, between using double bass and singing at the same time. He also had very impressive facial hair. They actually sounded most like Blue Cheer, down to covering their cover of Eddie Cochran's “Summertime Blues”. Once again, it was a great show.

We left Orange Sunshinea little early to get some air and see some more Masonic Youth antics before getting a good spot for the show we'd really been waiting for: the headliner, the only name band left after 65daysofstatic's cancellation, touring together after almost 30 years, Australia's finest, Radio Birdman. They took the stage to one of the biggest reactions I've seen from the typically sedate Dutch crowds, though it still seemed a little restrained and weak for the band's stature. Nonetheless, they burst into “Burned My Eye”, exhibiting more energy and intensity than any other band I'd seen that weekend. Their garagey proto-punk is incredibly catchy yet powerful, and it turned out all the better during the show, as the band moved more than the crowd and showed a level of enthusiasm that would be incredible in a bunch of 20-year-olds, much less such a venerable group. The lead singer, Rob Younger, was of course the main attraction, with his long leather jacket and equally long whitish hair, but the rest of the band had personality to go with their presence as well. The fatherly bassist had his mouth open in intense concentration the whole time, especially on songs like my personal favourite Radio Birdman song, “I-94”. Both guitarists were great, with a lot of contrast between Deniz Tek's loose, messy-haired, casual-attired stage wandering and Chris Masuak's shaven-headed, sunglasses-at-nigh-wearing pose-striking. Best of all was when they stood back to back for the solo in the always great “Aloha Steve and Danno”, ripped out of Hawaii 5-0 as it might be. But the most amusing was Pip Hoyle on keys, with a bright yellow tie, formal shirt with a pen sticking out of the breast pocket, and a generally serene demeanour. His handiwork showed well on songs like “Alone in the Endzone, a song which never impressed me recorded but turned out incredible live. The best song of the set, though, wasn't any of these, or even the much-loved “New Race” (which was still great), but “Hand of Law”, which they played with blistering speed and intensity, plus several great solo moments. They also played a decent number of cuts from their excellent new album, Zeno Beach, which stood up well to their classic material. “Hungry Cannibals” was particularly outstanding. As a whole, their show was by far the best of the weekend, and one of the best I've ever seen, really. I'm glad I had the chance to see them.

Radio Birdman setlist:

Burned My Eye

Do the Pop

Non Stop Girls

We've Come So Far (To Be Here Today)

You Just Make It Worse

Alone In the Endzone

Hungry Cannibals

Heyday

Hand of Law (spelled “Hand of Lar” on the setlist Tim grabbed)

Die Like April

Zeno Beach

Anglo Girl Desire

Locked Up

Aloha Steve and Danno

New Race

When the all-too-short set finished, we grabbed some ZXZW posters and headed out. First, tough, we talked to a guy who was following the tour through Europe about the band, other shows they'd given, the crappiness of Dutch crowds and the like. We then had a brief chat with the bassist and singer of Radio Birdman, who were great guys and signed our posters to boot. Then we really left, and this time we actually got the train back to Utrecht. A good end to a great weekend: I paid 10 euro for 14 shows, none of which were bad at all. Standouts were Uw Hypotheekadvies, Space Horse, Kunt, Japanther, and of course Radio Birdman (who would be worth more than the price of admission alone!). This was truly a great festival, and any rating less than a 10/10 is hard to justify.

I had my camera on day 2, and you can see my pictures at http://s99.photobucket.com/albums/l284/epicentric_zxzw2006/. I'll edit some into this entry soon, too. Cheers.